Sunday, January 22, 2017

The Legos of Life

Life is build of moments that stack on each other and create an amazing array of experiences!
                                                            Just like legos:)
And for the past 6 days we spent countless hours sorting through EVERY lego we owned until we put them ALL back together and sorted back into their original sets. And in doing so, we had some amazing moments as a family, just snuggled up in the boys room, laughing together, and watching the progress we were slowly making...
..... I am so grateful for school being cancelled twice so we could add to the lego hours. And I'm so glad that now it's finally DONE! And that was really our week, tons and tons of individual moments that were seemingly random, and a few will be lost and forgotten, but put them all together and we created a wonderful week of being a family, and loving our time together.




Maddix is sick again, poor boy





Why I wouldn't March with the women at this time...

                As I sat with my sick son as he threw up through the late hours of the night I couldn't help but think how grateful I was to have my i-phone that I could pop headphones into and watch some Netflix, or surf the internet with to help me stay awake with my poor boy; however, as I mind numbingly thumbed through Facebook I became extremely annoyed at all the feed over this women's march and the negative comments directed to the women who chose NOT to march. I typically reframe from posting anything political or extremely personal on social media because (1) It's social media...  (2) I never want to offend anyone or infringe on their rights, and (3) I'm terrified of backlash and wish to avoid heated confrontation. That being said, "the squeaky wheel gets the oil," and I feel it's important for people who maybe feel as I do to know they're not alone. So I dared to comment on someone's thread... that conversation caused me to really sum up how I feel and I now want to record it so my children/future self know just how I felt at this time of Presidential changing and Marching.
                  So, to all who really press upon those who didn't march and consider us "fence sitters" and "bystanders" in life, here is where I stand:

                  Not marching IS a stance. It's not a person just standing by. It's a chance for someone to show that they also have their own opinion in not joining the group. And the group should allow a person this freedom without discrediting those actions of others. 
Marching for a common goal (or many individual goals) is a miraculous demonstration of human right and power to create change. 
Heck, if our founding fathers and those around that time hadn't stood together and left England, we wouldn't have America, and these beautiful freedoms in the first place. So I think it is incredible the dedication and caring we are seeing from all these incredible women across the States. 
That being said, I wouldn't join these marches. They aren't moving for change, as our founding fathers did. They are for causes that are in a way just a complaint. And I am not saying these women aren't justified in their concerns and complaints because they are legitimately feeling them. But marching to demonstrate your fears and anger over how life is is like my three year old throwing a fit that there is broccoli on his plate, and he is in fact going to have to face the fact that he has to eat it. He is justified in this anger and dislike, but after he protests (peacefully or riotously) he has to find a way to live and deal with the truth that the broccoli will be eaten. 
Now, that is a small insignificant example compared to important topics such as health care, feeling safe, women's rights, and all their reasons. 
But my final point is, if you're marching to just show individual frustrations as a group you're not really standing together. You're still just one individual complaining, not really asking for change.
 It's not hard to gather people together, especially if they get to complain! People gather for flash mobs and trending media themes. Six million  people showed up to see the Chicago river dyed Blue to celebrate the cubs. Social media and large populations have made it so easy to spread a message. And people LOVE to belong and join the crowd. Just go to NY and stand in 5 hr lines for bagel... bagels. 
A group march with no common goal other than to say, "we are here and we are angry. Don't think you're going to have an easy time ignoring us," is a group of peopl who have chosen to miss work, leave their families, and put off their responsibilities that will still be there when they are done...because the March isn't done for actual change. And so while they take that path, which is a demonstration of their own rights, you can't blame or call those who don't March or agree with the March "fence sitters." These are people have unavoidable responsibilities and can't miss work. People who's concerns didn't match those of the group. People who may not be happy with the way life is going but they pull up their big boy pants and move on. Not just accepting that they can't make a change... but supporting and trusting in the system that gives them the opportunity to be heard and make changes! Trust in the system, or group together for real change! Don't just complain and Hate on the glorious freedoms we are blessed to Have. 
Are women that much worse off than men?! No. Is anyone being kicked out of the country... No. Can a woman still become President? Yes. And she will be WAY more suitable than Hilary. Can women still have the freedom of abortion without Planned Parenthood? Yes. They just have to go their OB instead of a private- Government funded clinic. 
Life is good here. People around the world would KILL to have it 1/2 as good as we do. A March to show gratitude that I'm an American? Id march in that because it's my personal belief.

Side Note #1: How can you willingly and proudly wear "Pussy-hats?!" A group of women marching to feel safe, that want to be treated respectfully, and hate that our new President lacks a respect for women are purposely choosing to call their pink hats this word that has been deemed by society as a crude reference to a part of what makes us women?? Why? Because you do it Ironically? You make fools of yourselves. And for all your talk of wanting to stand together to help people have better lives, do you know how many infant/child/adult blankets that material and donated hours could have made and been given to crisis centers around the country?? 

Side Note #2: Do you know what sort of health care bills could have been paid for (something many marchers were very concerned with) with the money spent on these hats, plane tickets, hours missed at work, etc... that would have made a great change for your cause! 

Side Note #3: For those who argue that they didn't leave their families for the day but "took them with us," why? Why did you burden your child with the troubles that are more mature than they are and frankly hard to understand? Children shouldn't have to carry this burden, they should be playing kick-the-can and enjoying the fact that they live in a country where they don't start working at such a young age (or until their almost 30...). And no, I don't want my children to be ignorant of life, and I DO know the importance of teaching them history... that's why we've taken them to Gettysburg, Valley forge, Martin's Cove, WY, Washington D.C. and places where actual Historical change occurred. Because in a year from now (Heck, I give it a month) this march will be forgotten, but your child will always remember that feeling the day you took them to the march, and when they ask you "what was the reason we all got together that one hazy day I somewhat remember?" Your answer to them will be, "Well son/daughter, we stood up against authority. We yelled loudly that we weren't happy, and we expressed that we were angry..." Yeah, that's a lesson I want my child to have imprinted in their minds... 

Final Side Note: Now, tell me this, 4-8 years from now (wouldn't that be Ironic) when President Trump leaves office, do you foresee the world being so changed that you can't wake up and eat your gluten/soy/corn/nut free breakfasts in your perfectly heated/air conditioned homes, while you read instant news delivered on your technologically advanced cell phones before comfortably commuting to your job you're lucky enough to have that provides you comforts in life (and if it doesn't, you're lucky enough to have a system that takes care of you to the point that you're not rifling through garbage cans, forced to sleep in the snowy streets, or suffering with an illness that they refuse to treat)? Do you think that anyone no matter their ethnicity, race, gender, sex, religion, education, etc. won't be able to walk through life being accepted by 90% of people the interact with (because let's face it... there will ALWAYS be a 10% of people ready to attack you for anything!), they won't be able to attend the same schools, enjoy the same amenities in life, and feel accepted in their communities?? If so, don't bother calling me for that march... I'll be leading it. 


Monday, January 16, 2017

~Friendships~

~My ThOuGhTs on FrIeNdShIp~
Two things spark this topic for me: 
1. While Travis has had time off we've had so many friends over, and different get togethers that I just feel so grateful for friends, and 
2. Maddix has been fighting with Aaron lately and it has strained their friendship, I think.

So first, this past week just FLEW by! We had one set of our little friends over Wednesday night and we popped popcorn, had treat bowls, watched HOME, played w/ toys, got ready for bed, played Uno, then we tucked the girls into our guest room for bed. They all had a blast! 
Later, they boys got to play at McDonald's with 10 of their friends after early out on Friday. 
They boys got to play at their friend's house while Travis and I went out. 
On Saturday we had those friends over while their parent's went out, as well another set of friends, so in our house we had 3 adults, 6 kids, 2 babies, and 1 crazy Nala; I absolutely loved it. The adults had Homemade Cafe Rio Salad while all the kids had quesadilla's and strawberries... just like home. 
And on Sunday we had the Sister Missionaries over and the boys (and Nala) always get crazy excited when they come over. 
Then Second, I've always envisioned having children who would be best friends, run around everywhere together, and have each other's back through out the years, and so far I've been fortunate that boys have that bond. Everywhere we've moved has been made easier because they have each other, and in New York when they had few to no friends, they were so so close. Even here, Maddix usually makes sure that Aaron can catch up when their out with friends, and at home they'll play legos together for a few hours...... or should I say, they DID play nice... fight all the time now! 
Maddix loves school, but I definitely notice an attitude that is growing, and I think it's picked up from school because when he isn't there for a few days it's like my happy kind boy returns. Now he loves school, doesn't have bullies, there isn't some hidden stress or blah blah blah, but I just feel the parts of his personality that are naturally competitive, perfectionistic, and perhaps a little selfish (because of his age) are amplified when he goes to school and is on his own and influenced by 20 other six year olds. He'll come home happy with his day, but have this attitude towards Aaron and I that takes an hour or so for me to work out of his system before he's nice again... parenting, if it's not one lesson to teach, it's another; is anyone else exhausted?! 
So then my question, and please message me, Facebook, call, email, etc with your wisdom, because i'd love to know: How do I help foster Aaron and Maddix's friendship as they are now in one place that isn't forcing them to rely on each other, they have a HUGE group of friends now, and Maddix is out testing his own independence at school every day? How do I encourage them to continue being best friends without forcing them to love each other or become resentful? You mama's/aunt's/father's/uncles,etc  out there, especially those with experience with brothers... HELP! Because I am so tired of this rude attitude, and the hurt feelings of a little brother who so badly waits all day for his brother to come, only to be treated poorly! 
Ready, Go! 

I'm also reminded of friendship through this Poem, by Gillian Jones that was written for her friends. 
A person who will listen and not condemn
Someone on whom you can depend
They will not flee when bad times are here
Instead they will be there to lend an ear
They will think of ways to make you smile
So you can be happy for a while
When times are good and happy there after
They will be there to share the laughter
Do not forget your friends at all
For they pick you up when you fall
Do not expect to just take and hold
Give friendship back, it is pure gold




Bonus photo: We got our picture hung above the mantle 

Sunday, January 8, 2017

First 2017 post theme: Change.

Every year we make goals to change for the better.  
Every year I look back over my list and hope I can put a check next to something (because I'm check-obsessed). 
While I love seeing the number of books I read or places I visited, I always feel sad when my more important goals like "Regularly say morning prayers," "become a more patient mom," or "master my eating" are still the same (I currently just polished off a can of Pringles and am eating a toblerone as we speak). Do we ever really change?? Will I?
Yet change is all around us. One friend and I were just commenting how how big our kids are getting and he remembers us showing up to Poland with Maddix just a baby. Another friend and I were reflecting on the past (almost) 9 years of our marriages and what they've held, then comparing it against the next 9. That was almost too much change to think about! 

And really I look at these people, like my father-in-law, for instance who literally never  complains, never fails to offer a hand, doesn't speaks ill of anyone, reserves judgements, and is slow to anger/quick to forgive, and has endless love to offer, and I think "when will I feel like I'm becoming more like him?" When will I feel like I'm becoming a little more Christ-like??" 
Change. Sometimes it's too much to handle. 
Sometimes it's slow moving and unnoticeable. 
But always it moves according to the Lord's time, and the consistent thing I can check off my list each year is that I trusted in the Lord's timing. Trusted that he knows when (if ever) I'll master my snacking addiction, when we might expand our family, when I might learn to follow promptings the first time around, when we'll know where we're supposed to raise our family, and essentially everything else in our lives that is unknown. It's not unknown to him. 
I guess change and faith go hand in hand. 
And we must have both to keep moving forward. 
Happy 2017!!! 
(now here are photos from the end of Dec to now)
Sick boy/pup watching Paw Patrol

Sick picnic

Finally got ready to take all us sick-o's
grocery shopping (We had NO food)

Bored from mom and brother being sick

 One day of healthy= playing in the snow and building a sled ramp


 New Year's Eve Sicko's 
(The New Year was rung in by sleeping...)

"I want to be a doctor, just like Daddy."

 Aaron started a P.E. and Art class once a week

Reppin' the New York apparel