My Testimate In Christ

Just a heads up: This blog has no pictures. I will be making a second blog tonight, but I just felt really compelled to write this all down right now. So hopefully this is a treat and not aNotHer Blog you have to ready:)

I thought a lot about whether or not I wanted to make a blog about this topic. It seemed at first, showy or Tim Tebow-ish since I know that my have a public blog in order to make sure I'm keeping everyone updated: Family, friends, people from Zumba, work, facebook friends, etc. but the more I thought about it... this is my journal, and the sole reason I am trying to be so faithful in recording my days is so I can print this up at the end of the year and always have this journal/scrapbook for my children and posterity to come. So that they can always know who we were, what we went through to get where we are, and where we placed our faith.

Today being Sunday, and much less chaotic than last Sunday, I feel strongly to post a Thank you to my Heavenly Father. 

This morning while we ate breakfast, the three of us sat in our blanket on the bed and read from Nephi. It always grabs at me,  the way Laman and Lemuel kept losing faith. The way they spoke with an Angel, were shaken and shocked, and everything in between. Since primary I have always viewed them as the bad eggs, the ones not worthy or 'good enough' to do Nephi's job. But today as we read through these passages I had a thought, "Why did the Lord even go through the trouble of taking them into the wilderness in the first place? If his goal was destroy the wicked, he should've left them behind, they said so themselves." 

This caused me to think and I realized they must have had many redeeming qualities, and been good enough to be worth saving. Because not only did the Lord deliver them out of the city, but time and time again he made witnessed unto them that he was the true God. 

I have been like Laman and Lemuel in my life to an extent. Years ago my best friend taught me a principle of faith when her and some girls at girls camp lost a toy plane in the bushes and then found it by praying for it's location. Why I had never thought to pray for the little things until then is beyond me. I think I felt they were too unimportant to bother the Lord with; but nothing is too unimportant to be passed over by his eye.
Since then I pray for everything; I'm sure a prayeroholic. And you know what, he is always listening. I just feel him registering the difference between my real half thought out prayer and just a whispered mumble I didn't even mean to pray for. He takes it all in and always does what's right for me. Yet, on a daily basis I am brought to my knees in humility as I have to ask for forgiveness for something I did/did not do. 

I am like Laman and Lemuel in that I murmur and complain... a lot. In preparing what direction we should take in life, the Lord directed us to Poland. In preparing to get here, he told us what steps to take. When we only had 5 days to receive passports that normally take up to 14 business days, ours came in 3. With little money to spare the Lord helped us let go of the jeep, and made our other expenses shrink. Taking those flights with an active, teething baby, Maddix was a real Angel when he needed to be, and lost it at the times that were manageable. In arriving to Poland and realizing our bag was gone, despite my first reaction of being mad at the Lord for not watching our bag, he sent an English speaking worker right over to me who helped me file a claim.

He stayed with me the night on the bus as the driver tried to leave with me on it and all I could think is i'll never find my way back. He took us to a hotel with the friendliest of people, most convenient location, and then got us into an apartment that any pioneer, and non spoiled American would be overjoyed to be in. He has steadied my shaky hand, blessed my mind and tongue to work together so that I might learn some Polish, and most of all he has blessed me with these two Men/Boys (they are both) in my life. My Dad will first and for most always be the one who so lovingly got me to where I am, but as let go of his and I'm so grateful that I now have these two to hold each of my hands and help me get through the rest of my life. I'm grateful for Travis, his determination, strength, and for being the whole reason we're here. And I'm grateful for Maddix who, without him, I would be entirely alone, without a purpose or anyone to keep me going while Travis is at school. I couldn't go through this life alone, and I'm so grateful I don't have to. I'm so grateful to know that the Lord, like unto Laman and Lemuel, has not given up on me, and continues to reveal himself unto me when I begin to murmur and doubt his presence. That he sees the redeeming good in me and is taking the time to refine me because I'm worth the effort. I hope and pray that I become refined and polished so I may always let the light of Christ shine through and land on those around me; That just by my example I can be a missionary to those around me, and that I can really take these next to years and not waist them. Not just watch all the movies on our Apple T.V. or work out, but really use my time to better my life and the lives of those around me.

Sorry again for an extremely long post lacking in photos but I felt impressed to share this... maybe i'll use it as my talk next Sunday :)